After 48 hours as a visitor in a nursing home, I've come to realize what a great place this would be to live. I wonder if they have any open rooms....
Healthy, home-cooked style meals...albeit a little bland and sometimes you don't exactly know what you're eating, but hey it's free and it magically shows up 3 times a day like clockwork.
If you want anything, from a blanket to a beer, just push a button and someone walks in ready to attend to your every desire. This luxury is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including holidays.
A cleaning lady comes through daily. Feel free to spit your food on the floor (which my Grandpa fully exercises his "right" to do). No one ever yells at you to take your shoes off either.
There's always someone to talk to if you feel lonely, and when you get bored with them you can just walk away. They probably won't remember the encounter later on anyway.
The other residents are quite entertaining as well. You know it's a good night when a nurse informs you a particular 104 year old resident is having a mentally-challenging night and not to panic if you see him wandering the halls in his birthday suit.
With the exception of the resident who bitched at my cousin Chelsey and I for "keeping the light on way too late" at 6:30pm, and then passive-aggressively said "I thought we had specific visiting hours here, but I guess not" as she was wheeling away in her chair, this isn't a bad place to live.
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