A Reel Pain

Dear Lawnmower,

We’ve been together for 3 years now, and I fear we may be at our relationship’s end.  When we first met, I thought you were perfect; all action without the annoying noise and expense of gas.  I thought you were the "reel deal" so-to-speak.  My friends and family called you 'old-fashioned' since you don't have a motor, but I didn't care.  I've always been a fan of mowers like you.  Aside from being low-maintenance, you also doubled as good exercise for me, but I won’t share our intimacies here.  

Relationships are supposed to have a healthy balance of give and take, but lately it seems like all I do is push.  I know you think I’m nagging by constantly telling you to cut the grass, but in my defense that was our initial agreement.  I will acknowledge you do have a good point regarding the pre-nup that stated the grass should not be any longer than 4 inches.  I feel, however, that it is not my fault Mother Nature decided to rain for like 2 weeks straight with no break to mow. 

I know you’re as frustrated as I am right now, but was it really necessary to spit out THAT screw??  It was in a very inconvenient location and took all my patience, and half my morning to replace.  Believe me, I got your message loud and clear, and I know it’s petty, but screw you too!  

I’m sorry, that really wasn’t very mature.  I confided in a friend about our disagreement, and she reminded me that space can be good sometimes, and I shouldn’t make a hasty decision regarding our relationship.  So, I’m going to take the weekend to calm down and think things through.  I hope when I return tomorrow night that we’ll both be in better places and can rationally discuss what to do next.  

Sincerely,

Melanie