The Story of My Life

So my BFF Erin has been encouraging me for years to write an autobiography. You may be wondering "Why" and "Who would want to read that?????" Quite possibly no one. BUT, the shit that happens in my life really does seem awfully outrageous. Especially when you factor in what a lame-o, boring, Vanilla person I am. With the exception of a minor rebellious streak, I'm pretty straight-laced. And yet some of the experiences I've had are so contrary to my personality that it's ironically funny. Some of them you may have already read about on this blog.

So, in preparation for said autobiography, I've started picking out nicknames to protect confidentiality. When it comes to boys, there's The Mechanic, Mr. Policeman, The X Husband, Evil Knievel, The One-Night-Stand Hairy Monster, The Immature One, The Cowboy, Chip the Sixth (yeah, there's no confidentiality there but his stories are mostly good...and the ones that aren't will remain a secret), and Luke the Liar (also not very confidential). For friends, there's Jen, Miriam, Jen Jacaruso, Danni, Tiff, Sandra, Kari, WI Erin, Melissa, Erin Reagan, Erin Catterton, Steph, John, Courtney, Kacey, Shan, Tracy, Christie, Will, etc. etc. etc. Only a true genius will be able to decipher these pseudonyms.

Cleverly, I think I'll title the book "The Story of My Life." It's gonna be a best-seller. Just you wait....